My Water Bill is Always Worth It

I don't know about the rest of you, but my shower is the highlight of my day.

Mostly because I get to spend some quality time with my absolute favourite sex toy: my showerhead. I have an oxygenics spa showerhead and it is - by far - my favorite sex toy.

The other day, my Mom actually commented that she was nearly ready for a new one, since we've had this one for quite a few years, and she's the 'fix it even if it's not broken' sort.

My response?

YOU CAN'T TAKE AWAY MY FAVOURITE ORGASM! 

IT'S UNCONSTITUTIONAL!

But not out loud or anything, since she would actually probably get rid of it for that reason alone, and probably buy one without the hand-held capabilities just to spite me. 

This showerhead was responsible for my very first solo orgasm, so of course I'm biased, but I actually believe this might be just about the best showerhead to ever grace a bathroom.

I, like every other earth-loving hippie out there, would like to orgasm daily without worrying about my impact on the environment (and my water usage!). Apparently this showerhead conserves 30-70% of water and energy compared to other traditional showerheads. I didn't test it out or anything, but I'm happy to believe the claim if it means I can spend forty-five guilt-free minutes in the shower each day.

It's also customizable, which is an absolute must. The flow control valve turns the pressure all the way down to a near trickle, and with a quick turn amps the pressure up to full orgasmic potential. There's just about a million stages in-between those two extremes, and I often find myself adjusting back and forth while enjoying my orgasmic build up.

I've had the, err, pleasure, of trying out quite a few different showerheads over the course of my life, and honestly, I don't want to try out any more. Ever.

If my showerhead ever gets taken down and tossed out, I swear I will go all Liam Neelson - from Taken - on someone:

" I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you return my showerhead now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. 

But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you. "

FAITHFULLY YOURS,