Monday, November 26, 2012

Staying In Shape

Product: Venus balls – Vaginal Balls
Manufacturer: Dorcel
Material: 100% Elastomer –Soft Touch


Cleaning: This is more porous than silicone, so you can't just boil this to disinfect it. You can wash it with toy cleaner or a mild soap with warm water.

Also, due to the nature of this material, it should not be shared.


Lube: This item can be used with either silicone or water based lube.




This review has been a long time in the making. I’ve wanted some sort of kegel balls for quite a long time, and when the opportunity to review a set came up from a sex toy company I love, I jumped on it without much thought.

When the Dorcel Venus Balls came in the mail, however, I realized that perhaps I should have started elsewhere for my first kegel balls – these are absolutely HUGE. And unlike other balls, you can’t attach-and-detach the balls, so you really do have to be able to use both. Dorcel makes the same product in single ball format, so perhaps that’s a better place to start if you’re looking to start working your kegels and want to start slow.

I’ll admit, I had a lot of trouble with these when I first attempted to use them. I tried countless times over the course of a week to fully insert both balls, but it just didn’t happen. Something about the size or shape of these just weren’t working for me at first. I did eventually manage to pop them in, but it just wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. Once they're in, they're generally quite comfortable to wear, even for the entire day.

One of the things I truly love about these kegel balls is the little balls that roll around inside of them. I thoroughly enjoyed shaking these like maracas while playing with them in my hand, but the truth is, they aren’t that much fun once inserted. Yes, I could feel them moving around while I did jumping jacks, or when RS made me laugh so hard I was crying, but they didn’t excite me in any sort of arousing way. It wasn’t unpleasant, but it wasn’t pleasurable in and of itself either. But that’s not what I bought these for, so let’s move on to how they work as an exercise companion.

Now, I’ve been trying to wear these whenever I can, and have been hounding my partner whenever we engage sexually with question after question: Did that feel tighter? Can you feel these? Yes, I’m gripped – does it feel different than it did two weeks ago? What are the orgasms like? Feel stronger?

For the most part, he’s just not quite sure. I work on my kegels every day, just as I have for years, balls or no balls. I don’t know if these have done anything in terms of strengthening my PC muscles – I’d like to say yes, but I can’t become a walking infomercial and tell you that you need these for x, y, or z. I haven’t noticed any significant difference as of yet, but I’ll keep using them for a few reasons:

They give me something concrete to grip while I do my kegels, and they remind me to do them. It’s easy to go a couple of days without doing your kegels when exams roll around and your mind is in a million other places, and your vagina just isn’t one of them. With these in, it’s hard to forget. I’m in the thick of exam time now, and even though my mind is in a million other places, my vagina is doing its thing and I’m honing my multi-tasking skills. Besides, I like to think that just having them in and holding them in is exercising those muscles anyway, with or without concentrated thought or exercise.


Overall, I’m happy with these. I enjoy wearing them and I’m going to continue wearing them. Perhaps one day I’ll be able to pinpoint it and say that yes, these do contribute significantly to my PC muscle strengthening, but until then, I’ll just enjoy my PC muscles and keep them in tip top shape any way I can.



FAITHFULLY YOURS,

Sunday, November 04, 2012

Sinful Sunday:
Pleasure of the Knife

Sinful Sunday


"Where there is no imagination,
there is no horror."

― Arthur Conan Doyle









FAITHFULLY YOURS,



Monday, October 29, 2012

My Water Bill is Always Worth It

I don't know about the rest of you, but my shower is the highlight of my day.

Mostly because I get to spend some quality time with my absolute favourite sex toy: my showerhead. I have an oxygenics spa showerhead and it is - by far - my favorite sex toy.


The other day, my Mom actually commented that she was nearly ready for a new one, since we've had this one for quite a few years, and she's the 'fix it even if it's not broken' sort.

My response?

YOU CAN'T TAKE AWAY MY FAVOURITE ORGASM! 
IT'S UNCONSTITUTIONAL!

But not out loud or anything, since she would actually probably get rid of it for that reason alone, and probably buy one without the hand-held capabilities just to spite me. 

This showerhead was responsible for my very first solo orgasm, so of course I'm biased, but I actually believe this might be just about the best showerhead to ever grace a bathroom.

I, like every other earth-loving hippie out there, would like to orgasm daily without worrying about my impact on the environment (and my water usage!). Apparently this showerhead conserves 30-70% of water and energy compared to other traditional showerheads. I didn't test it out or anything, but I'm happy to believe the claim if it means I can spend forty-five guilt-free minutes in the shower each day.

It's also customizable, which is an absolute must. The flow control valve turns the pressure all the way down to a near trickle, and with a quick turn amps the pressure up to full orgasmic potential. There's just about a million stages in-between those two extremes, and I often find myself adjusting back and forth while enjoying my orgasmic build up.

I've had the, err, pleasure, of trying out quite a few different showerheads over the course of my life, and honestly, I don't want to try out any more. Ever.

If my showerhead ever gets taken down and tossed out, I swear I will go all Liam Neelson - from Taken - on someone:
" I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you return my showerhead now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. 

But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you. "


FAITHFULLY YOURS,



Sunday, October 21, 2012

Sinful Sunday:
Red Hair Rising

Sinful Sunday


"Out of the ash I rise with my red hair,
and eat men like air."

― Sylvia Plath








FAITHFULLY YOURS,

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Sneaky Storage

Sex toys are the epitome of fun, freedom, and pleasure - until you try to store them of course.

Storage ends up being one of the biggest annoyances that comes with owning sex toys, and the more you own, the more annoying it ends up being. Locked briefcase boxes, shoe boxes jammed under beds and tucked in closets, bedside tables filled to the brim - you can't have toys without thinking about how to store them.

Family and children can be nosy and toys are often something we want to keep private - not many of us who share space with non-intimate others would be willing to leave their toys out on display for the world to enjoy (visually only of course!)
 
Height of 17.5" and a Width of 13.5"
Storage is a big issue for me, and I've lamented about it for ages on Twitter. In the early days of discovering sex toys, my collection was quite small and relatively limited, but even then I was searching for a way to store my toys in one place where no one might accidentally come upon them. I wish I would have come across the Sneaky Snack from Holistic Wisdom back then, because it would have been quite suited to my needs at the time.


This little storage bag hangs in your closet and can be hidden under jackets or sweaters. This is actually ridiculously discrete - it disappears beneath my favourite comfy sweater even when filled to the brim.

True to my academia, I conducted an experiment with an (unsuspecting) participant a few weeks ago while my sister was home for Thanksgiving. I filled the Sneaky Sack with toys and let my sister go through my clothes and pick out my outfit for Thanksgiving dinner - she was none the wiser of the experiment she was taking part in.

The Sneaky Sack has three separate compartments, which is important so you can separate your toys from others that might harm it. My house is not a chemistry lab - I don't want to see any chemical reactions among my toys. Each compartments is relatively fair sized, and the main compartment is large enough to comfortably hold my Hitachi, which to me is great since a storage option is only as good as it's ability to store all of your toys.


The material is also pretty great because its strong and durable and actually feels that way. Even when filled to the brim with toys the material maintains its shape and doesn't feel like it's going to burst at the seams at any moment. It's also waterproof, so leaking lubes won't spoil your fun for too long. It can be quickly tossed in the wash on cold (hang to dry), and voila, lube spillage erased.

Now, I have a pretty decent collection of toys that span five large dresser drawers, so I knew my toy collection wouldn't be contained to this little bag. But that's one of the great things about this - you can literally use it for just about anything you want hidden away from prying eyes. And since I don't have a firearm to hide in my closet, my Sneaky Sack holds the many explicit DVDs that I don't want just hanging out in my media center between Finding Nemo and Ironman.

Despite using this for a slightly different use, I'm actually quite excited for my next trip out of town with RS - I'll be stuffing my cosy sweater full of my favourite toys without worrying that my nosy Mother will find my toys when she comes behind me in attempt to remedy my poor packing skills.

Thinking about all the different ways this storage option can be used is absolutely baffling, and I'm surprised I've not seen variations of this idea floating around. It's a great item, and definitely one to look at if you have a small collection of things to hide.



FAITHFULLY YOURS,



Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Toy With Me Tuesday:
The Soft Side

When I think of celebrating Kink in honour of National Kink Month, my mind goes straight to my drawer of leather debauchery and the many tools of painful pleasure that occupy their own space amongst my collection of toys.

But when I close that drawer and open the one directly above it, I'm greeted by an exquisite array of beautifully dyed rope just waiting to slip softly against the skin in all its knotted glory. It's a colourful drawer, doused in pastel pinks and peaches, soft blues and glossy greens; these colours are stretched and hung across the room from one end to the other, the endless possibilities emerging as our bedroom is transformed into a colourful nest of kinky potential.

Kink isn't always leather clad wielding a flogger in each hand in horrifyingly perfect form; it has a soft side, a beautifully naked side that embraces the soft exploration of boundaries and the gentle push of limits. 

It isn't always about whips and chains and the icy touch of metal on delicate skin; sometimes it's the warmth of comfort beneath the hug of rope and the simple sensations of just being alive to the experience.




You can find more creative sex toy photography by heading on over to this week's Toy with me Tuesday collection. You can also follow the #ToyWithMeTuesday hashtag on twitter.



FAITHFULLY YOURS,

Sunday, October 14, 2012

The Inaugural Sinful Sunday:
The Joy of Kneeling

Sinful Sunday
 "It's hard for an educated woman to turn her head off. That's part of the joy of being a submissive. None of the decisions are yours. When you can't refuse anything and can't even move, those voices in your head go silent. All you can do, and all you are permitted to do, is feel."

― Cherise Sinclair








FAITHFULLY YOURS,

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Toy With Me Tuesday:
Health - Inside and Out

I'm a big advocate of positive mental health habits - it's important to keep yourself in a healthy psychological and emotional state so you can do whatever important work you do - and do it to the greatest extent possible.

It's also important to maintain the health of your physical body - something I tend to forget once the cold weather blows in. It's too easy to hibernate the winter away. I've done my best to prepare for the coming winter season with a few new sets of hand weights and my first pair of kegel balls - the Dorcel Venus Balls.





You can find more creative sex toy photography by heading on over to this week's Toy with me Tuesday collection. You can also follow the #ToyWithMeTuesday hashtag on twitter.



FAITHFULLY YOURS,


Friday, October 05, 2012

One Profound Moment:
What You Have To Worry About

Last night was a hard night for me.

If you follow me on Twitter (@BostonBliss) and were up in the wee hours of the night, you’ll have been privy to my state of mind and the struggles I was attempting to work through. My work is not only challenging in and of itself, but it's also incredibly challenging to me as a person – to my values and beliefs about myself, others, and the world in general.




I cry even now as I write this.

I only slept for about four hours despite the fact that today is my one day off a week where I can catch up on missed sleep and enjoy a day of naked rest and relaxation. I just couldn’t get into the headspace for sleep last night, and when I woke up this morning for no concrete reason, I was wide awake once again.

I’m mentally exhausted, but sleep is evading me. I think I have to read up on my self-care methods. I’m forgetting them and their slowly slipping from my priority list. But this blog is, if nothing else, making me stick to one part of my self-care, which is putting something to paper. It's about getting it out.

This week’s little nugget of pure truth isn’t an exchange between two men. It’s a little bit longer than usual, but no matter how I try to condense it, it just doesn’t seem right. It has to be told in its entirety for it to mean anything.

So here’s one man’s story of incarceration. With great pain he told this, only to benefit another group member who is entering jail next month. He wanted him to be aware.


One Man's Story:
When you go into jail, you know you have to worry about the other inmates. You have your story all planned out – you’re here for domestic violence – that’s a good one to use. You’re just here to do your time. You don’t say anything else because it’s better to just not talk about it, because then people start asking questions. If someone finds out you’re in for a sexual offence – well, let’s just say that’s not what you want. 

You know all this. What you don’t know is that it’s not only the other inmates you have to worry about – it’s the guards too. It’s the guards especially.

When I went in, I was stripped down and given my new clothes in a private room. Before I could even process what was going on I realized there were four guards present and I heard someone call from down the hall: just don’t get blood anywhere. I knew what was going to happen then.

They jumped me, four against one. I was beaten and bruised and bleeding, and they continued to beat me with a resounding chorus of what a piece of shit I was, and how I should just get it over with and kill myself. I was told I wasn’t worth shit. And I couldn’t argue – what they said was true. In the end, I was knocked down to the floor with a heavy hit to one side of my head, and my ear ended up splitting open against the concrete. Blood spilled everywhere, like a horror movie scene almost. But you know what? They made me clean up my own blood. They attacked me, and I cleaned it up for them.

They handed me a piece of paper and I was told to tell the truth about how my ear and been injured – they don’t like guys who lie, after all. I made up a bogus story and signed it, and they took me down to the onsite nurse.

One guard stayed with me the entire time to make sure I didn’t change my story. The nurse tried to ask what happened – she knew. But I couldn’t change my story – it would’ve just made things worse. I only needed to survive forty-five days. That’s all. I’d survived three decades – forty-five days was nothing in the grand scheme of things.

There’s a lot of shit that happens in jail that just shouldn’t happen – but it does. People, whoever they are, are hateful and vengeful, and sometimes downright evil. You go into jail and when you come out, you’re changed. Someone shows compassion and empathy towards you and you distrust it – you can’t accept that people like that still exist. It’s a sorry state when you’re genuinely surprised by even the smallest act of kindness, and I think maybe that’s the worst part of it all.

I always used to believe in the genuine goodness of people. Not anymore. I want to, but I still don’t know if I can get back to that after what I’ve seen, what I've been through. It changes you - no doubt about that. Just be ready for it.


FAITHFULLY YOURS,

Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Open is Not an Option

There isn't much I would say is strictly off-limits.

But there is one thing, and it's not up for debate: welcoming others into our relationship (whether emotionally or sexually, as a couple or as individuals) will never happen. Not in this lifetime or the next.

I love poly people and I have profound respect for couples who swing, but it just isn't for me. An open relationship should be an option for anyone who decides that it's right for them, but it's just not an option for me/us.

I'm an incredibly jealous person, I'll own that. My whole family - primary and extended - jokes about my 'territorial' nature. I've always been that way - personally I blame it on being a twin. I grew up sharing everything - even now my sister and I still get gifts from family members for us to share despite the fact we live in different cities. I'm tired of sharing, even when it comes to the little things.

Want a piece of my chocolate bar? Bite me.

And that's sort of how I feel about RS.


We were both virgins when we met, and part of me liked knowing that he was mine and I was his. We each had the other, and neither of us had to share the other with anyone else, past or present.

Now I know this is problematic for far too many reasons to count, but it's how I feel, and I have to honour it.

Is it possessive? Sure, I'll own that. Is it an unrealistic expectation for a relationship and a partner? Probably. Do I think this 'belonging only to each other' is the scenario we should all strive towards? Hell no.



 RS isn't a chocolate bar, and he isn't an object I can possess and call mine. He is a person, and he belongs to himself, and he chooses to be with me.

He chooses to engage sexually with me, and we have negotiated our terms of such engagement; while we can both fantasize about threesomes, group sex, and orgies of all variety, we both know that such things can remain fantasy alone.

The truth is, sex isn't just sex to me - it's our sex. I could never find it in myself to share our sex with someone else, whether I was there or not. Perhaps my age is showing, and this naive twenty-one year old is still clinging to sex as something more than our twenty-first century feminism would like, but it's where I'm at, and I have to respect that. Not everyone feels the same, and they shouldn't - we all have to take stock and recognize where we're at and be content in that.

I know myself enough to know I could never happily negotiate an open relationship, and I know us enough to know it would only break us in the end.


FAITHFULLY YOURS,

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

Toy With Me Tuesday:
The Colours of Fall

The garden is doused in burnt oranges and scorching reds that sweep across the yard loudly proclaiming the arrival of Fall as they rustle in the cold wind. The butterflies are most assuredly gone after last night's frost, but there's still one butterfly in the garden that's not fluttering away any time soon.




You can find more creative sex toy photography by heading on over to this week's Toy with me Tuesday collection. You can also follow the #ToyWithMeTuesday hashtag on twitter.



FAITHFULLY YOURS,

Friday, September 28, 2012

One Profound Moment:
What's Your Own Self-Worth?

Last night was the first night that I went to group and sat amongst eight men who have sexually offended and laughed. It was the type of laughter that can't be contained, the type of laughter that is utterly contagious and uncontrollable. I listened as a group member described in great detail the psychological warfare he's been engaging in with his neighbour, laughing and living through him as he weaves the intricate details of his daily life.

It's important to celebrate the achievements and the joys of daily existence, but our group is bound by men who share many obstacles, challenges, and heartache. Not ten minutes later after laughing along with the group, I'm suddenly filled with reverence and respect as another man shares the story of his offence from beginning to end, pausing often to find the language for the words he hadn't yet spoken out loud. Two hours is gone before I even realize it, and I'm left thinking about the many profound truths I'd witnessed in that short time.

The following discussion took place between a new member who is currently awaiting sentencing and a veteran member who remembers being in his same precarious position. 


Man One: 
I've lost my half-million dollar house, the Cadillac in my driveway, my boat and my big screen TV - every material thing I own is gone. But you know what? That's not even the worst of it. I've been served my divorce papers, my friends and family have up and disappeared, I'm not allowed to see my kids, and just about every source of happiness that I had before is gone. I have nothing - literally nothing. Suicide? Sure, it's a thought - isn't it always? - but I don't want to be that headline, the one that says I've somehow escaped justice. Whatever that means.

Man Two:
I feel like I was right where you were after my offence - except for the Cadillac maybe. I was lucky enough though that the first corrections officer I made contact with sat me down and said something to me that I'll never forget. I had just been stripped of all my personal things, and I was a mess. He saw that, and he took a minute and said to me:

Everything you have, someone can take from you. Not one thing that you hold close is safe from being ripped away without a moments notice. Everything except your self-worth - no one can take that from you. Ever. So what is yours worth?  

At that moment I realized that I had always valued myself for what I had, not for who I was. My self-worth needed to be based on my character and my values, not all the shit I bought to blow the money I barely earned. But I know what you mean, the worst part is all of the real stuff - the family, the friends, the kids. The people you love. It's hard to go through losing all that, but it's even harder when your self-worth is shit to begin with. When you're left with nothing and you are nothing because of it, well, suicide looks pretty good, doesn't it?


FAITHFULLY YOURS,

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Toy With Me Tuesday:
Freedom and Privilege

When I started thinking about this week's 'Toy With Me Tuesday', I wanted to take Ness' suggestion and talk about sexual freedom for a quick minute, because it's actually something that means quite a bit to me. I've been privileged enough to not only enjoy sexual freedom in (and out of) the bedroom, but I've also been privileged enough to be able to study sexuality in an academic realm. I recognize that not everyone everywhere has had the opportunities and privileges I've been graced with, and I want to honour that.

If I had been born a few decades earlier, my life's path would surely be quite different.

I might not have owned a Hitachi, let alone have been able to enjoy the wonders of orgasm. I might not have had access to my own library of sexual information, let alone been able to read.

This is my privilege.




You can find more creative sex toy photography by heading on over to this week's Toy with me Tuesday collection. You can also follow the #ToyWithMeTuesday hashtag on twitter.


FAITHFULLY YOURS,

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Not the Safest Bet

Product: Fishnet Babydoll
Manufacturer: DreamGirl
Material: 92% Polyester, 8% Spandex
Comes With: Cut-out Chemise and Thong, with bonus Nipple Clamps and an attached Silver Bullet. 

Cleaning: You'll want to hand wash this set in cold water and hang to dry.

Whenever I'm shopping for lingerie online, I tend to gravitate to generally classic, tasteful, safe outfits. When I saw this Babydoll, it was unlike anything in my closet, and I just had to have it. Partly because it would be great for our D/s play, and partly because of the clamps and silver bullet - I love anything that comes with 'extras'.

I don't believe it's a safe choice in any way - not everyone will like the way they look in this, and not everyone will be happy with the way they feel in this.

I had doubts about whether I'd actually like this on me, since the woman modeling it looks just a little too plastic to be representative of my varying skin tone. I worried that my sun-kissed arms and torso would be too dark in contrast to my pale breasts; I didn't want to cordon off my breasts and accentuate that difference for fear of looking absolutely ridiculous. My fears (in this regard) were mostly unfounded, and will probably become more so as fall and winter continue to approach.

This item is a one-size fits all, so beware. There is a little stretch to it, but not as much as I expected (or would like). My measurements are as follows, for your comparison needs.




This item seems (to me) better suited to my fellow small-chested ladies; though any size chest would fit in the cutouts, I can't imagine it being overly comfortable to squeeze a pair of DD's into the little designated spaces - and the lace beneath the cutout would surely be lost entirely, which would be an absolute shame since it's one of my favourite parts of the outfit.

As I said, it's a little tight on me - there isn't as much give as I was expecting. Perhaps this is why it doesn't stay in place - if you zoom in and check out this picture, you'll notice that the model wears the thong over the chemise. You have to. Otherwise it scrunches up and just looks unflattering. This is fine, depending on your personal sizing. I personally am not a fan, since I then have to position the thong far too high to really utilize the 'crotchless' aspect of them. It just doesn't work for my proportions as well as I would like.

The three visible seams the run vertical along the sides and back of this chemise are probably my biggest pet-peeve. From my perspective, they're unnecessary and ugly, and they ruin any semblance of quality workmanship for me.

Now let me get to my absolute favourite part of this lingerie - the nipple clamps and attached silver bullet.

Firstly, I have another pair of clamps that I reviewed not long ago. They were my favourite - until now. The one's that come with this set are a thousand-fold more comfortable and more secure. They're longer and more narrow, rather than stumpy and thick. They look incredibly feminine. They're adjustable, of course, and no matter how tight or loose you have them set, they clamp on and stay on. They feel incredibly secure and even the biggest tugs can't pull them off.

Even if I hated the lingerie, the clamps would be worth the price - no question.

The clamps have a chain that is 21" long (15" from the bottom of the V) and attached on the bottom is the silver bullet. Now this is a pretty standard bullet - it takes four watch batteries and vibrates away the second you've got it assembled. There is no on or off button, so you're best to take the batteries out and store them somewhere close by so that the bullet isn't eating through batteries while not in use - and it does eat through batteries.

You can also remove the bullet if you're so inclined - it attaches pretty simply through a loop of ball chain. Beware that once removed, the bullet has a little more difficulty staying on afterwards, since the ball chain seems a little too flimsy and flexible for the weight of the bullet. A better quality ball chain fixes this and is ultimately a relatively easy fix if you're crafty and have a few meters of ball chain in a craft closest somewhere close.

I know this is a lot of information for such a tiny piece of fabric, so here's the bottom line:

Of all the lingerie I own, this isn't my favourite piece; I don't want to take it out of the closet simply for the sake of wearing it. It doesn't make me feel that great, and it just isn't that comfortable overall.


FAITHFULLY YOURS,





Friday, September 21, 2012

One Profound Moment:
We're Not Victims


Yesterday was my second day of providing direct client service for a group of men who have sexually offended, and I'm once again lost in contemplation about the conversations we had for those two short hours. Words cannot express how truly grateful I am to have the opportunity to be part of their group and to share with them in those moments of profound realization and epiphany.

The only way I can truly say thank you is to pass it on.

The following took place within a larger discussion of society and the general community. The men began to talk about what they wished the community knew about them:


Man One: 
I wish people knew that I'm a victim of my offense too - yeah, there are real victims here, my victims, and I don't want to diminish that - but I'm not just going on with my horrible evil life like nothing happened. Everyone involved has suffered from my offense - myself included. I don't think people see that, and I wish they did.

Man Two: 
But we're not victims of our offenses - at least not the way I see it. My victim had no control over the situation; they couldn't control the fact that I was in their midst and that I chose to act on my unhealthy desires. I didn't choose to have unhealthy thoughts and desires, no, but I chose to act on them. And that's on me. A victim has no control over what happened to them - I had control and I lost it.



FAITHFULLY YOURS,

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Toy With Me Tuesday:
Blue Girl Group

  In this week's 'Toy With Me Tuesday', Dottie (my CalExotics Pleasure Dot) happily hangs out amongst her blue friends in the Bathroom. 




You can find more creative sex toy photography by heading on over to this week's Toy with me Tuesday collection. You can also follow the #ToyWithMeTuesday hashtag on twitter.



FAITHFULLY YOURS,

Friday, September 14, 2012

One Profound Moment:
Oh, The Irony

I've talked about this on Twitter quite often over the last few months, but I want to briefly explain one (new) aspect of my life that will slightly change the overall nature of this blog from here forward.

As part of my human sexuality degree requirement, I work with men who have sexually offended in an AA style program designed specifically for the needs of the offending population. Yesterday was my first day providing direct client service to these men, but already I know that to not write about my experiences with them would be to betray my own sense of self.

I write about what moves me in all aspects of my life, and I want to honour that.

I consider myself quite fortunate to have the opportunity to get to know these men, hear their stories, and understand the struggles they face and the triumphs they celebrate. I feel blessed to be amongst them, and I want to share with you each week one nugget of profoundness that I take from them.

The following conversation took place between two men in the group who have been (or are in the process of being) charged for accessing, possessing, or distributing child pornography.


Man One: 
The justice system, and everyone else too for that matter, sees me as a one-dimensional thing: a monster. That's all they see - this monstrous thing that I've done. I think I'm a good person, and when I think about my character, I think, yeah, it's pretty good. But I've done this evil thing, this horrible thing, but that's all anyone sees. They don't see me - the person behind this horrible monstrous thing.

Man Two: 
But that's the irony of it all, don't you see? We saw them as one-dimensional; we didn't see the person, the hurt, the victimization behind those images. What we did to them, we are having done to us. 


FAITHFULLY YOURS,