Monday, October 29, 2012

My Water Bill is Always Worth It

I don't know about the rest of you, but my shower is the highlight of my day.

Mostly because I get to spend some quality time with my absolute favourite sex toy: my showerhead. I have an oxygenics spa showerhead and it is - by far - my favorite sex toy.

The other day, my Mom actually commented that she was nearly ready for a new one, since we've had this one for quite a few years, and she's the 'fix it even if it's not broken' sort.

My response?


But not out loud or anything, since she would actually probably get rid of it for that reason alone, and probably buy one without the hand-held capabilities just to spite me. 

This showerhead was responsible for my very first solo orgasm, so of course I'm biased, but I actually believe this might be just about the best showerhead to ever grace a bathroom.

I, like every other earth-loving hippie out there, would like to orgasm daily without worrying about my impact on the environment (and my water usage!). Apparently this showerhead conserves 30-70% of water and energy compared to other traditional showerheads. I didn't test it out or anything, but I'm happy to believe the claim if it means I can spend forty-five guilt-free minutes in the shower each day.

It's also customizable, which is an absolute must. The flow control valve turns the pressure all the way down to a near trickle, and with a quick turn amps the pressure up to full orgasmic potential. There's just about a million stages in-between those two extremes, and I often find myself adjusting back and forth while enjoying my orgasmic build up.

I've had the, err, pleasure, of trying out quite a few different showerheads over the course of my life, and honestly, I don't want to try out any more. Ever.

If my showerhead ever gets taken down and tossed out, I swear I will go all Liam Neelson - from Taken - on someone:
" I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you return my showerhead now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. 

But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you. "


Sunday, October 21, 2012

Sinful Sunday:
Red Hair Rising

Sinful Sunday

"Out of the ash I rise with my red hair,
and eat men like air."

― Sylvia Plath


Thursday, October 18, 2012

Sneaky Storage

Sex toys are the epitome of fun, freedom, and pleasure - until you try to store them of course.

Storage ends up being one of the biggest annoyances that comes with owning sex toys, and the more you own, the more annoying it ends up being. Locked briefcase boxes, shoe boxes jammed under beds and tucked in closets, bedside tables filled to the brim - you can't have toys without thinking about how to store them.

Family and children can be nosy and toys are often something we want to keep private - not many of us who share space with non-intimate others would be willing to leave their toys out on display for the world to enjoy (visually only of course!)
Height of 17.5" and a Width of 13.5"
Storage is a big issue for me, and I've lamented about it for ages on Twitter. In the early days of discovering sex toys, my collection was quite small and relatively limited, but even then I was searching for a way to store my toys in one place where no one might accidentally come upon them. I wish I would have come across the Sneaky Snack from Holistic Wisdom back then, because it would have been quite suited to my needs at the time.

This little storage bag hangs in your closet and can be hidden under jackets or sweaters. This is actually ridiculously discrete - it disappears beneath my favourite comfy sweater even when filled to the brim.

True to my academia, I conducted an experiment with an (unsuspecting) participant a few weeks ago while my sister was home for Thanksgiving. I filled the Sneaky Sack with toys and let my sister go through my clothes and pick out my outfit for Thanksgiving dinner - she was none the wiser of the experiment she was taking part in.

The Sneaky Sack has three separate compartments, which is important so you can separate your toys from others that might harm it. My house is not a chemistry lab - I don't want to see any chemical reactions among my toys. Each compartments is relatively fair sized, and the main compartment is large enough to comfortably hold my Hitachi, which to me is great since a storage option is only as good as it's ability to store all of your toys.

The material is also pretty great because its strong and durable and actually feels that way. Even when filled to the brim with toys the material maintains its shape and doesn't feel like it's going to burst at the seams at any moment. It's also waterproof, so leaking lubes won't spoil your fun for too long. It can be quickly tossed in the wash on cold (hang to dry), and voila, lube spillage erased.

Now, I have a pretty decent collection of toys that span five large dresser drawers, so I knew my toy collection wouldn't be contained to this little bag. But that's one of the great things about this - you can literally use it for just about anything you want hidden away from prying eyes. And since I don't have a firearm to hide in my closet, my Sneaky Sack holds the many explicit DVDs that I don't want just hanging out in my media center between Finding Nemo and Ironman.

Despite using this for a slightly different use, I'm actually quite excited for my next trip out of town with RS - I'll be stuffing my cosy sweater full of my favourite toys without worrying that my nosy Mother will find my toys when she comes behind me in attempt to remedy my poor packing skills.

Thinking about all the different ways this storage option can be used is absolutely baffling, and I'm surprised I've not seen variations of this idea floating around. It's a great item, and definitely one to look at if you have a small collection of things to hide.


Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Toy With Me Tuesday:
The Soft Side

When I think of celebrating Kink in honour of National Kink Month, my mind goes straight to my drawer of leather debauchery and the many tools of painful pleasure that occupy their own space amongst my collection of toys.

But when I close that drawer and open the one directly above it, I'm greeted by an exquisite array of beautifully dyed rope just waiting to slip softly against the skin in all its knotted glory. It's a colourful drawer, doused in pastel pinks and peaches, soft blues and glossy greens; these colours are stretched and hung across the room from one end to the other, the endless possibilities emerging as our bedroom is transformed into a colourful nest of kinky potential.

Kink isn't always leather clad wielding a flogger in each hand in horrifyingly perfect form; it has a soft side, a beautifully naked side that embraces the soft exploration of boundaries and the gentle push of limits. 

It isn't always about whips and chains and the icy touch of metal on delicate skin; sometimes it's the warmth of comfort beneath the hug of rope and the simple sensations of just being alive to the experience.

You can find more creative sex toy photography by heading on over to this week's Toy with me Tuesday collection. You can also follow the #ToyWithMeTuesday hashtag on twitter.


Sunday, October 14, 2012

The Inaugural Sinful Sunday:
The Joy of Kneeling

Sinful Sunday
 "It's hard for an educated woman to turn her head off. That's part of the joy of being a submissive. None of the decisions are yours. When you can't refuse anything and can't even move, those voices in your head go silent. All you can do, and all you are permitted to do, is feel."

― Cherise Sinclair


Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Toy With Me Tuesday:
Health - Inside and Out

I'm a big advocate of positive mental health habits - it's important to keep yourself in a healthy psychological and emotional state so you can do whatever important work you do - and do it to the greatest extent possible.

It's also important to maintain the health of your physical body - something I tend to forget once the cold weather blows in. It's too easy to hibernate the winter away. I've done my best to prepare for the coming winter season with a few new sets of hand weights and my first pair of kegel balls - the Dorcel Venus Balls.

You can find more creative sex toy photography by heading on over to this week's Toy with me Tuesday collection. You can also follow the #ToyWithMeTuesday hashtag on twitter.


Friday, October 05, 2012

One Profound Moment:
What You Have To Worry About

Last night was a hard night for me.

If you follow me on Twitter (@BostonBliss) and were up in the wee hours of the night, you’ll have been privy to my state of mind and the struggles I was attempting to work through. My work is not only challenging in and of itself, but it's also incredibly challenging to me as a person – to my values and beliefs about myself, others, and the world in general.

I cry even now as I write this.

I only slept for about four hours despite the fact that today is my one day off a week where I can catch up on missed sleep and enjoy a day of naked rest and relaxation. I just couldn’t get into the headspace for sleep last night, and when I woke up this morning for no concrete reason, I was wide awake once again.

I’m mentally exhausted, but sleep is evading me. I think I have to read up on my self-care methods. I’m forgetting them and their slowly slipping from my priority list. But this blog is, if nothing else, making me stick to one part of my self-care, which is putting something to paper. It's about getting it out.

This week’s little nugget of pure truth isn’t an exchange between two men. It’s a little bit longer than usual, but no matter how I try to condense it, it just doesn’t seem right. It has to be told in its entirety for it to mean anything.

So here’s one man’s story of incarceration. With great pain he told this, only to benefit another group member who is entering jail next month. He wanted him to be aware.

One Man's Story:
When you go into jail, you know you have to worry about the other inmates. You have your story all planned out – you’re here for domestic violence – that’s a good one to use. You’re just here to do your time. You don’t say anything else because it’s better to just not talk about it, because then people start asking questions. If someone finds out you’re in for a sexual offence – well, let’s just say that’s not what you want. 

You know all this. What you don’t know is that it’s not only the other inmates you have to worry about – it’s the guards too. It’s the guards especially.

When I went in, I was stripped down and given my new clothes in a private room. Before I could even process what was going on I realized there were four guards present and I heard someone call from down the hall: just don’t get blood anywhere. I knew what was going to happen then.

They jumped me, four against one. I was beaten and bruised and bleeding, and they continued to beat me with a resounding chorus of what a piece of shit I was, and how I should just get it over with and kill myself. I was told I wasn’t worth shit. And I couldn’t argue – what they said was true. In the end, I was knocked down to the floor with a heavy hit to one side of my head, and my ear ended up splitting open against the concrete. Blood spilled everywhere, like a horror movie scene almost. But you know what? They made me clean up my own blood. They attacked me, and I cleaned it up for them.

They handed me a piece of paper and I was told to tell the truth about how my ear and been injured – they don’t like guys who lie, after all. I made up a bogus story and signed it, and they took me down to the onsite nurse.

One guard stayed with me the entire time to make sure I didn’t change my story. The nurse tried to ask what happened – she knew. But I couldn’t change my story – it would’ve just made things worse. I only needed to survive forty-five days. That’s all. I’d survived three decades – forty-five days was nothing in the grand scheme of things.

There’s a lot of shit that happens in jail that just shouldn’t happen – but it does. People, whoever they are, are hateful and vengeful, and sometimes downright evil. You go into jail and when you come out, you’re changed. Someone shows compassion and empathy towards you and you distrust it – you can’t accept that people like that still exist. It’s a sorry state when you’re genuinely surprised by even the smallest act of kindness, and I think maybe that’s the worst part of it all.

I always used to believe in the genuine goodness of people. Not anymore. I want to, but I still don’t know if I can get back to that after what I’ve seen, what I've been through. It changes you - no doubt about that. Just be ready for it.


Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Open is Not an Option

There isn't much I would say is strictly off-limits.

But there is one thing, and it's not up for debate: welcoming others into our relationship (whether emotionally or sexually, as a couple or as individuals) will never happen. Not in this lifetime or the next.

I love poly people and I have profound respect for couples who swing, but it just isn't for me. An open relationship should be an option for anyone who decides that it's right for them, but it's just not an option for me/us.

I'm an incredibly jealous person, I'll own that. My whole family - primary and extended - jokes about my 'territorial' nature. I've always been that way - personally I blame it on being a twin. I grew up sharing everything - even now my sister and I still get gifts from family members for us to share despite the fact we live in different cities. I'm tired of sharing, even when it comes to the little things.

Want a piece of my chocolate bar? Bite me.

And that's sort of how I feel about RS.

We were both virgins when we met, and part of me liked knowing that he was mine and I was his. We each had the other, and neither of us had to share the other with anyone else, past or present.

Now I know this is problematic for far too many reasons to count, but it's how I feel, and I have to honour it.

Is it possessive? Sure, I'll own that. Is it an unrealistic expectation for a relationship and a partner? Probably. Do I think this 'belonging only to each other' is the scenario we should all strive towards? Hell no.

 RS isn't a chocolate bar, and he isn't an object I can possess and call mine. He is a person, and he belongs to himself, and he chooses to be with me.

He chooses to engage sexually with me, and we have negotiated our terms of such engagement; while we can both fantasize about threesomes, group sex, and orgies of all variety, we both know that such things can remain fantasy alone.

The truth is, sex isn't just sex to me - it's our sex. I could never find it in myself to share our sex with someone else, whether I was there or not. Perhaps my age is showing, and this naive twenty-one year old is still clinging to sex as something more than our twenty-first century feminism would like, but it's where I'm at, and I have to respect that. Not everyone feels the same, and they shouldn't - we all have to take stock and recognize where we're at and be content in that.

I know myself enough to know I could never happily negotiate an open relationship, and I know us enough to know it would only break us in the end.


Tuesday, October 02, 2012

Toy With Me Tuesday:
The Colours of Fall

The garden is doused in burnt oranges and scorching reds that sweep across the yard loudly proclaiming the arrival of Fall as they rustle in the cold wind. The butterflies are most assuredly gone after last night's frost, but there's still one butterfly in the garden that's not fluttering away any time soon.

You can find more creative sex toy photography by heading on over to this week's Toy with me Tuesday collection. You can also follow the #ToyWithMeTuesday hashtag on twitter.