Are We Kinky Enough For This?

When I first started studying human sexuality exclusively, I was surrounded by beautiful, strong, and amazing individuals of incredible diversity on a daily basis. I admired them greatly. For every experience my textbooks touched on, there was someone next to me living it, breathing it, and embracing it.

I'm a middle-class white heterosexual and cisgendered female; it wasn't long before I began to wonder how I could belong in this group of strong and unique individuals. I couldn't help but wonder what I could possibly have to offer.

Eventually I managed to reconcile such feelings in the academic arena, realizing that my social location didn't define me, that I could (and always will) have something of value to contribute to any discussion at hand. I don't need to live something to speak to it, nor do I have to live something to advocate on behalf of it.

Truthfully, I still start to feel that way sometimes though, but in a much different arena.

When surrounded by other wonderfully kinky individuals, I often start to lose focus on my journey with kink, instead weighing myself down with realizations that I may be X,Y,Z, but I'll never be Q,R,S. Suddenly Q,R,S emerges as the epitome of kink for me, and I just don't measure up.

I love my kink; I value it and embrace it for what it is. My kink is my own, and that's all I could ever want. There is no trophy for the kinkiest bitch out there - I'm not striving for that title. One persons kink is another persons vanilla; it's all subjective. I love all things kinky, and yes, I still get swept away with it all from time to time.

I'm learning (and trying) to stop this habit. It's destructive and unhealthy. I don't believe in keeping up with the Jones' in any other aspect of my life - I don't intend to do it in the bedroom either. I like where RS and I are in our sexual development; we're always trying new things and navigating our way in this crazy space where everything and anything goes.

I'm still just getting my feet wet in a lot of different ways, but really, aren't we all? If we aren't chasing new sensations and opening ourselves up to new experiences, well, what's the point?

I'm surrounded by beautiful, strong, and amazingly kinky individuals of incredible diversity - but I guess perhaps I'm one of them too.

FAITHFULLY YOURS,