Staying In Shape

Product: Venus balls – Vaginal Balls
Manufacturer: Dorcel
Material: 100% Elastomer –Soft Touch


Cleaning: This is more porous than silicone, so you can't just boil this to disinfect it. You can wash it with toy cleaner or a mild soap with warm water.

Also, due to the nature of this material, it should not be shared.


Lube: This item can be used with either silicone or water based lube.




This review has been a long time in the making. I’ve wanted some sort of kegel balls for quite a long time, and when the opportunity to review a set came up from a sex toy company I love, I jumped on it without much thought.

When the Dorcel Venus Balls came in the mail, however, I realized that perhaps I should have started elsewhere for my first kegel balls – these are absolutely HUGE. And unlike other balls, you can’t attach-and-detach the balls, so you really do have to be able to use both. Dorcel makes the same product in single ball format, so perhaps that’s a better place to start if you’re looking to start working your kegels and want to start slow.

I’ll admit, I had a lot of trouble with these when I first attempted to use them. I tried countless times over the course of a week to fully insert both balls, but it just didn’t happen. Something about the size or shape of these just weren’t working for me at first. I did eventually manage to pop them in, but it just wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. Once they're in, they're generally quite comfortable to wear, even for the entire day.

One of the things I truly love about these kegel balls is the little balls that roll around inside of them. I thoroughly enjoyed shaking these like maracas while playing with them in my hand, but the truth is, they aren’t that much fun once inserted. Yes, I could feel them moving around while I did jumping jacks, or when RS made me laugh so hard I was crying, but they didn’t excite me in any sort of arousing way. It wasn’t unpleasant, but it wasn’t pleasurable in and of itself either. But that’s not what I bought these for, so let’s move on to how they work as an exercise companion.

Now, I’ve been trying to wear these whenever I can, and have been hounding my partner whenever we engage sexually with question after question: Did that feel tighter? Can you feel these? Yes, I’m gripped – does it feel different than it did two weeks ago? What are the orgasms like? Feel stronger?

For the most part, he’s just not quite sure. I work on my kegels every day, just as I have for years, balls or no balls. I don’t know if these have done anything in terms of strengthening my PC muscles – I’d like to say yes, but I can’t become a walking infomercial and tell you that you need these for x, y, or z. I haven’t noticed any significant difference as of yet, but I’ll keep using them for a few reasons:

They give me something concrete to grip while I do my kegels, and they remind me to do them. It’s easy to go a couple of days without doing your kegels when exams roll around and your mind is in a million other places, and your vagina just isn’t one of them. With these in, it’s hard to forget. I’m in the thick of exam time now, and even though my mind is in a million other places, my vagina is doing its thing and I’m honing my multi-tasking skills. Besides, I like to think that just having them in and holding them in is exercising those muscles anyway, with or without concentrated thought or exercise.

Overall, I’m happy with these. I enjoy wearing them and I’m going to continue wearing them. Perhaps one day I’ll be able to pinpoint it and say that yes, these do contribute significantly to my PC muscle strengthening, but until then, I’ll just enjoy my PC muscles and keep them in tip top shape any way I can.

FAITHFULLY YOURS,

Sneaky Storage

Sex toys are the epitome of fun, freedom, and pleasure - until you try to store them of course.

Storage ends up being one of the biggest annoyances that comes with owning sex toys, and the more you own, the more annoying it ends up being. Locked briefcase boxes, shoe boxes jammed under beds and tucked in closets, bedside tables filled to the brim - you can't have toys without thinking about how to store them.

Family and children can be nosy and toys are often something we want to keep private - not many of us who share space with non-intimate others would be willing to leave their toys out on display for the world to enjoy (visually only of course!)
 

Height of 17.5" and a Width of 13.5"

Storage is a big issue for me, and I've lamented about it for ages on Twitter. In the early days of discovering sex toys, my collection was quite small and relatively limited, but even then I was searching for a way to store my toys in one place where no one might accidentally come upon them. I wish I would have come across the Sneaky Snack from Holistic Wisdom back then, because it would have been quite suited to my needs at the time.


This little storage bag hangs in your closet and can be hidden under jackets or sweaters. This is actually ridiculously discrete - it disappears beneath my favourite comfy sweater even when filled to the brim.

True to my academia, I conducted an experiment with an (unsuspecting) participant a few weeks ago while my sister was home for Thanksgiving. I filled the Sneaky Sack with toys and let my sister go through my clothes and pick out my outfit for Thanksgiving dinner - she was none the wiser of the experiment she was taking part in.

The Sneaky Sack has three separate compartments, which is important so you can separate your toys from others that might harm it. My house is not a chemistry lab - I don't want to see any chemical reactions among my toys. Each compartments is relatively fair sized, and the main compartment is large enough to comfortably hold my Hitachi, which to me is great since a storage option is only as good as it's ability to store all of your toys.

The material is also pretty great because its strong and durable and actually feels that way. Even when filled to the brim with toys the material maintains its shape and doesn't feel like it's going to burst at the seams at any moment. It's also waterproof, so leaking lubes won't spoil your fun for too long. It can be quickly tossed in the wash on cold (hang to dry), and voila, lube spillage erased.

Now, I have a pretty decent collection of toys that span five large dresser drawers, so I knew my toy collection wouldn't be contained to this little bag. But that's one of the great things about this - you can literally use it for just about anything you want hidden away from prying eyes. And since I don't have a firearm to hide in my closet, my Sneaky Sack holds the many explicit DVDs that I don't want just hanging out in my media center between Finding Nemo and Ironman.

Despite using this for a slightly different use, I'm actually quite excited for my next trip out of town with RS - I'll be stuffing my cosy sweater full of my favourite toys without worrying that my nosy Mother will find my toys when she comes behind me in attempt to remedy my poor packing skills.

Thinking about all the different ways this storage option can be used is absolutely baffling, and I'm surprised I've not seen variations of this idea floating around. It's a great item, and definitely one to look at if you have a small collection of things to hide.

FAITHFULLY YOURS,

Not the Safest Bet

Product: Fishnet Babydoll
Manufacturer: DreamGirl
Material: 92% Polyester, 8% Spandex
Comes With: Cut-out Chemise and Thong, with bonus Nipple Clamps and an attached Silver Bullet. 

Cleaning: You'll want to hand wash this set in cold water and hang to dry.

Whenever I'm shopping for lingerie online, I tend to gravitate to generally classic, tasteful, safe outfits. When I saw this Babydoll, it was unlike anything in my closet, and I just had to have it. Partly because it would be great for our D/s play, and partly because of the clamps and silver bullet - I love anything that comes with 'extras'.

I don't believe it's a safe choice in any way - not everyone will like the way they look in this, and not everyone will be happy with the way they feel in this.

I had doubts about whether I'd actually like this on me, since the woman modeling it looks just a little too plastic to be representative of my varying skin tone. I worried that my sun-kissed arms and torso would be too dark in contrast to my pale breasts; I didn't want to cordon off my breasts and accentuate that difference for fear of looking absolutely ridiculous. My fears (in this regard) were mostly unfounded, and will probably become more so as fall and winter continue to approach.

This item is a one-size fits all, so beware. There is a little stretch to it, but not as much as I expected (or would like). My measurements are as follows, for your comparison needs.

This item seems (to me) better suited to my fellow small-chested ladies; though any size chest would fit in the cutouts, I can't imagine it being overly comfortable to squeeze a pair of DD's into the little designated spaces - and the lace beneath the cutout would surely be lost entirely, which would be an absolute shame since it's one of my favourite parts of the outfit.

As I said, it's a little tight on me - there isn't as much give as I was expecting. Perhaps this is why it doesn't stay in place - if you zoom in and check out this picture, you'll notice that the model wears the thong over the chemise. You have to. Otherwise it scrunches up and just looks unflattering. This is fine, depending on your personal sizing. I personally am not a fan, since I then have to position the thong far too high to really utilize the 'crotchless' aspect of them. It just doesn't work for my proportions as well as I would like.

The three visible seams the run vertical along the sides and back of this chemise are probably my biggest pet-peeve. From my perspective, they're unnecessary and ugly, and they ruin any semblance of quality workmanship for me.

Now let me get to my absolute favourite part of this lingerie - the nipple clamps and attached silver bullet.

Firstly, I have another pair of clamps that I reviewed not long ago. They were my favourite - until now. The one's that come with this set are a thousand-fold more comfortable and more secure. They're longer and more narrow, rather than stumpy and thick. They look incredibly feminine. They're adjustable, of course, and no matter how tight or loose you have them set, they clamp on and stay on. They feel incredibly secure and even the biggest tugs can't pull them off.

Even if I hated the lingerie, the clamps would be worth the price - no question.

The clamps have a chain that is 21" long (15" from the bottom of the V) and attached on the bottom is the silver bullet. Now this is a pretty standard bullet - it takes four watch batteries and vibrates away the second you've got it assembled. There is no on or off button, so you're best to take the batteries out and store them somewhere close by so that the bullet isn't eating through batteries while not in use - and it does eat through batteries.

You can also remove the bullet if you're so inclined - it attaches pretty simply through a loop of ball chain. Beware that once removed, the bullet has a little more difficulty staying on afterwards, since the ball chain seems a little too flimsy and flexible for the weight of the bullet. A better quality ball chain fixes this and is ultimately a relatively easy fix if you're crafty and have a few meters of ball chain in a craft closest somewhere close.

I know this is a lot of information for such a tiny piece of fabric, so here's the bottom line:

Of all the lingerie I own, this isn't my favourite piece; I don't want to take it out of the closet simply for the sake of wearing it. It doesn't make me feel that great, and it just isn't that comfortable overall.

FAITHFULLY YOURS,

Understated Yet Elegant

Product: Striped Bustier Set
Manufacturer: Escante
Material: 90% Nylon, 10% Elastic
Comes With: Bustier, Thong, Hosiery

Cleaning: You'll want to hand wash this set in cold water and hang to dry. If necessary, you can iron in on the lowest setting.

When I’m buying lingerie online from a sex toy retailer, it’s a lot different then being able to walk up to an item in a shop, touch it, try it on, gawk at yourself for half an hour before having it wrapped up and getting out the door.

I wasn’t too sure what to expect when I ordered the stripped bustier, and I spent considerable time debating and mulling over the sizing. Let’s face it, that’s the biggest difficulty in shopping for any sort of clothing online – you can’t try it on, go bigger, go smaller, go anything. It is what it is, and it is yours.

While trying to decide what size to buy, I made up a little chart to help make that choice easier – here’s where I fall in relation to Escante’s sizing chart.

 

I ultimately chose to go for the small, even though my measurements fell twice into the medium category, and my hips were in the large category.

Why?

The most important feature of any lingerie (for me) is the bust. I have relatively small boobs, and while I love every inch of them, there’s nothing less sexy than a sagging unfilled cup. If my boobs don’t look good, you can bet your ass I’m not going to wear it. Honestly, I might just not put it on at all, and it will stay forever hidden at the bottom of my closet.

To say the least, I’m happy to find that the small fits me like a glove; no unsightly bulges or squeezing, and even if it’s a bit of a bitch to get off, well, it’s worth it while it’s on.

Which is my only issue with this bustier – I enjoy those that come with a zipper or a hook-release element. There’s nothing I enjoy less than having to squeeze lingerie over my head or down past my hips to get the darn thing off. No matter the shape, size, or type, I like lingerie that gives you that easy-off method. It’s a small negative, especially since its not a given for bustiers, but the few others I’ve had in the past have all had this feature, and it’s one I miss here.

When I finally got this little number on, I gave RS a sneek-peek in the early afternoon - a teaser of what was to come later that night. He was more than happy to turn that little peek into a very long gaze. The only thing he wasn’t too hot on was the colour, said it looked a little bland and boring on the hanger. But once it was on, he said I looked like “a high-end stripper” – his words not mine. There’s definitely nothing that feels cheap about this set – I had the urge to curl my hair, paint my nails, and find the right jewelry to accent the ensemble. I can't remember the last time I had this much fun getting ready for bed.

Despite RS’ initial reaction to the colour, I personally love the neutral tones and the shimmering stripes –  it complements my summer tan quite nicely actually. Perhaps once winter comes I’ll be ready to dye the set a deep hue and give it new life.

Overall, this stripped bustier set is a great addition to my lingerie collection, and even after wearing it a couple of times the novelty of it just hasn’t worn off, and I don’t suspect it will anytime soon.

FAITHFULLY YOURS,

$28.49Striped fabric bustier with hose Bustier by Escante Material: Nylon / Elastic Buy from EdenFantasys

This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer.

Knot That Hard After All

Product: Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes

When RS and I first started talking about bondage, we immediately set our sights on rope bondage, and decided that was a direction we were both definitely interested in going. As a carpenter and general construction man, RS was good with knots and already had the rope skills to complete many basic knots and techniques. I, however, didn’t learn to tie my shoes until I was seven, and could never master anything much more complicated than that.

We picked up the popular Two Knotty Boys: Showing You the Ropes book after reading through some of the recommendations of the review community. Once I had the book in my hands, I was happy to see just how step-by-step each technique actually was. Experts often take for granted that small details are ‘common sense’ and assume that readers know more than they do. It’s these small details that cause the most frustration for beginners, and I’m happy to report, that this book was truly zero frustration from beginning to end – there are more than enough pictures to guide you through your chosen technique, and nothing is assumed by the writers.

The images in this book are truly its most defining feature, but it’s a shame that they weren’t done in colour. The black and white nature of the photographs certainly don’t prevent you from understanding and learning the techniques, but for a book which relies so heavily on imagery you’d expect high-quality colour images.

RS and I actually learned rope-work in a highly unconventional way; without a willing third-party participant to practice on, we went up into the attic and pulled out the old, decaying fashion model our family had picked up at a yard sale somewhere in the distant past. Not good for much, she had been banished to the attic for too many years to count. I clothed her in black leggings and an old black long-sleeved sweater, and with black socks, winter gloves, and a baklava secured backwards over her head, she was a vision of possibilities.

The book begins with a lot of important information in terms of rope safety, and gives a lot of detailed information on types of rope and how to maintain it – really all the basics for anyone who has no idea about rope-work. I still reference those first few chapters whenever I need a quick reminder. After that, the book teaches the fundamental knots that prove the building blocks of each and every other technique that will follow in the book – so if nothing else, get these down pat before you do anything else. Practice, practice, practice! I promise, it makes everything else you’ll do later easier.

 

After the section on basic knots, the book covers basic bondage techniques, decorative bondage, and dominance bondage. There are countless techniques in each section, and they’ll all fun to experiment with. Some are more advanced than others in terms of the basic knots required, but if you get those all down pat before moving onto the bondage techniques, like I just mentioned, you won’t have to worry about being limited. I had no problem learning the knots in the book, nor learning the techniques covered throughout the book, and that was a real accomplishment in terms of my previously limited skill in that area. 

Together, RS and I worked through a number of techniques on our mannequin, and at some points it was really great to have a second pair of hands and eyes. One of the biggest downsides of this book is that it’s soft-covered, so it’s nearly impossible to hold your book open to your desired page while handling your rope at the same time. It would have been nice if hard-cover was an option – without a second thought I would gladly pay the extra cost for such a worthwhile upgrade.

Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes is probably the best book out there for beginners looking to get started in rope-work, and though there are little disappointments here and there in terms of the manufacturing of the book itself, there is nothing disappointing in the content of this book. It’s truly a great learning tool that has a permanent place on our bookshelf.

$16.95Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes Book by Dan and JD, Two knotty boys Format: Paperback Publisher: Green Candy Press Buy from EdenFantasys

Sexy and Functional

Product: Tuyo
Manufacturer: Big Teaze Toys
Material: Plastic and Silicone

Cleaning: Cleaning for this vibrator is pretty simple – just use a wet wash cloth, some dish soap, and wipe it all down, and again with just plain old water. Make sure to never fully submerge this toy in water while cleaning - it's not waterproof.


It isn’t often that I’m browsing the vibrator section of an online sex toy store and think: holy hell, I have to have that! It just looks so…so…beautiful! The first time I saw the Tuyo I couldn’t help but marvel its appearance – there is simply nothing else quite like it out there. It screams luxury, and I knew I had to add it to my collection. Just looking at it had me excited, let alone actually using it!

The great thing about the Tuyo is the overall presentation of it – it comes in a beautiful satin lined box that almost resembles a really large jewelry box that is perfect for storing the Tuyo permanently. The packaging and instructional booklet that accompanies it is tasteful and simple with no images or graphics demonstrating it in use. I’m a big fan of tasteful packaging, so this is always a HUGE plus for me.

The Tuyo is mostly plastic with only a small band of silicone running down the middle. This band is largely there to give you something to hold onto, since wet plastic can slip away from you if you aren’t careful. And that’s another interesting feature about the Tuyo – it’s a ball, so unlike other vibrators that have too large/small of handles and are just generally uncomfortable to hold, the Tuyo is actually incredibly easy to handle, mostly because, well, it rests in your entire hand. It's length and diameter are around 3" each, so it comfortably fills the majority of your hand, and it's weight (around 4.8 ounces) is quite comfortable for one-handed use

I first sat down with the Tuyo with little expectation in terms of its vibrational strength or power. It was one of the first vibrators I had ever purchased, and it was a hell of a far cry from the little silver bullet I used daily. I was happily surprised by the stimulation – it’s such a broad vibration that ripples across the entire genital region. With my other vibrators it’s often easy to forget about the labia, the mons, and the perineum and to just go straight for the clitoris. With the Tuyo it’s nearly impossible to avoid these sensitive areas simply due to the sheer size of it, and it's definitely a welcome quality.

The only thing that feels slightly off is the use of the one button control. That one little button turns the Tuyo on, cycles through the various pulsing levels, and turns it off. I often find myself switching back and forth between two levels on other vibrators, and was a little disappointed that the Tuyo just doesn’t work that way – you literally have to go through all the other functions (and turn it off and on again) in order to get to the level before the one you were initially on. This can be a pain especially compared to the ease of multi-button vibrators, but it’s an obvious tradeoff, and probably a necessary one. It would be a hundred times more annoying to have to locate and handle multiple buttons on the rounded surface, and I can just imagine it getting all turned around and not knowing which button was which anyway. It's a slight annoyance, but it's not nearly enough of one to make me not use it.

The Tuyo comes out to play whenever RS and I are engaging in more sensual sex – it’s definitely not the kind of vibrator we use during our rougher play where stronger, more direct stimulation is desired. This type of stimulation does however have its place in our bedroom, and comes out of the toy box at least once a week.

I don’t want to simply pay for a quality product, I want to SEE that quality every time I look at it. The Tuyo is a great addition to our collection, and definitely stands out against all of our other toys - there is simply nothing that even remotely resembles it. It’s great for sensual sex, and even when I’m alone I have the urge to light candles and play soft sexy music while I cuddle in with the Tuyo instead of just plopping down and getting off with my pants still half-on.

Tuyo Discreet massager by Big Teaze Toys Material: Silicone / Plastic Safety: $46.49 Buy from EdenFantasys
Rating:	Vroom:	Bee:

Balls Are Sexy You Know!

Product: Aslan Silicone Ball Gag
Manufacturer: Aslan Leather
Material: Leather and Silicone

Cleaning: The silicone ball can be boiled on the stove for roughly 3-5 minutes in order to ensure proper sterilization, but can also be put in the dishwasher in your utensil holder (no soap) and then left out to thoroughly air dry before storing. The best way to clean the leather strap is to use a wet rag, with a drop of dish soap, and just wipe the area down, and again with just plain water. Never ever EVER soak or submerge your leather completely in water, and always dry it completely directly after cleaning.

I ordered the aslan silicone ball gag as a surprise gift for RS. We had never really talked about adding gags to our play, but RS had previously shown immense enjoyment in commanding my silence while playing – I can be a little too vocal at times perhaps! I saw this online and checked the sex toy review community and my compulsion took over and I just had to have it, especially because it’s leather, and well, leather is sexy as hell. And then RS and I talked about it, and talked about it, and talked about it some more. And with a green light and understanding on both sides, we got to work - erm, play.

As a beginner gag user, there were a few things I immediately liked about this particular gag. First, I liked the quick release snaps on either side of the silicone ball. There’s always the potential for panicking in the moment, and it’s always good to have a secure plan of ‘escape’ before the situation arises - those snaps immediately put me at ease.

Those straps have also proven really great in terms of being able to quickly and easily remove the silicone ball for cleaning, as well as for quickly switching the ball for a bigger one when this one just doesn't keep me quiet enough. The other thing I really like about this is the beautiful soft leather strap – it’s flexible and easily adjustable with ten or so different adjustment holes. Great for all head shapes and sizes, which is always a plus.

Which brings me to my only downside with this gag: I felt like the silicone ball was too big the first time I attempted to wear it. As a truly first-time ball gag user, it could have been smaller, and although it is only around a 1 1/2” diameter, my gag reflexes immediately took over and I had to take a few breaths before attempting to use it again. I’m quite comfortable in saying that my gag reflexes never comes into play during any other activities, but perhaps with the silicone ball it’s just a different type of sensation to accustom yourself to.

Before bringing it into play, I decided to wear it for short increments while sitting at the computer, studying, and reading to get myself fully accustomed to it. I slowly increased those increments until I was fully comfortable wearing it for extended periods of time during our play. It does help that the silicone ball is soft but still really firm, and has a bit of give to it - you can happily clench down on it and not feel like you’re causing irreparable damage to your teeth.


Overall, this is a relatively good pick for first-time ball gag users, especially when considering the general ease of being able to swap out the silicone ball for a different sized one if/when desired, as well as the ease in cleaning. It was my first ball gag and remains my go-to gag nearly a year later - and it still looks and feels like new. For seasoned users it’s a plus all around, and there’s nothing about this gag that isn’t painfully pleasing!

FAITHFULLY YOURS,

$37.50Aslan silicone ball gag Mouth gag by Aslan Leather Material: Silicone / Leather Safety: Buy from EdenFantasys

Clamp me, Baby.

Product: Bull Nose Nipple Jewelry
Manufacturer: Cal Exotics
Material: Metal and Latex (beware of potential latex allergies!)

Cleaning: Clean with mild soap and water - just make sure to dry them off completely, you wouldn't want them to rust!

Nothing’s sexier than the sound of metal on metal, so of course the soft clinking sound of the chain from these bull nose nipple clamps were nothing short of exciting – sure, they were my first pair of nipple clamps from a sex toy store and I was ridiculously excited about them, but even to this day that sound gets me going every time. These are made primarily of metal (aside from the small latex tips that cover the clamping mechanism) so they can be cold to the touch, but you can warm them pretty easily in your hands if you don’t like the shock of cold metal against bare skin.I personally prefer the coldness of them, and RS loves to throw them in the freezer for a few minutes before we play.

Upon first look, the only visible downside of these clamps is the tips – they can (and often do!) fall off, so you have to make sure to store them somewhere where the tips can be easily found if lost while not in use. Or, you can crazy glue those fuckers on there. It’s a quick fix for an annoying problem, because nothing’s scarier than the sharp metal teeth that those rubber tips are hiding.

From nose to nose, these clamps span 16" in length.

One of my favourite things about these clamps are their ability to be adjusted to suit your desired pressure. Before trying these, my nipple clamping experience was limited to clothespins and other household clips and clamps I hoarded. I realized that I’m not a one-size-fits-all kind of girl, and I like being able to adjust them based on my sensitivity - and these actually have a pretty good range in term of pressure. I started out using very light pressure and pinching more nipple, and eventually worked to pinching less and applying more (remember, the less you grab between them, the more you’re going to feel it!).

It took a little bit of practice to figure out how to secure them comfortably, but once you play with them a little bit and figure out how they work with your body, they’ll stay put even when you tug on them (which is the awesome benefit of the metal chain that attaches the clamps together). I don't have particularly small or flat nipples, so I have no problems securing them, but this could be a potential problem for anyone who does. Just make sure to watch the clock while you’re wearing them, as you don’t want to cut off blood supply or damage the nerves of the clamped area. Fifteen minutes is a pretty good general rule, but until you know your body it’s good practice to take a minute and assess your body every five minutes or so, until you have a better understanding of your functioning with this particular product.

This is a great product for individuals looking for a solid first pair of nipple clamps. With a little bit of DIY gluing, these are a great pair of clamps that have the potential to remain a staple product in the toy box. Good for both first-time users and those with more experience – these clamps aren’t a product that needs to be upgraded for a bigger or better model later down the road.

FAITHFULLY YOURS,

$10.49Bull nose nipple jewelry Nipple clamps by California Exotic Material: Latex / Metal Safety: Buy from EdenFantasys